I smell stomach acid.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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