so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
