this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
