you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
