I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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