i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
