I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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