I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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