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Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The power of my boobs compel you
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
