How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
why is half of my head shaved?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
