im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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