so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it glows. i had to have it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
