Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
