All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
