I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
a search helicopter?!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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