someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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