he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dicks are not precious.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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