yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
