i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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