everyone is single if you try hard enough
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
