I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
