Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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