Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
