sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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