it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
