used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
