that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
