this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
