Its about making memories worth repressing
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
