what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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