My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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