there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
