I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I lost the right to judge tonight
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
