You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
