I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
