we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
