I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
