you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
