i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
