It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
