Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
