It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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