we made out on top of his cat.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
