Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
