i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
