It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
