so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
someone owes me an orgasm
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
