The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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