Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
