she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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