I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
