yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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