using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
